Digging

I told the toddler to stop picking your nose and under my breath because those moms over there are staring at us. Again! Actually, I didn’t care who the fuck was looking at us, but the toddler seems a little self-conscious...

Flirting

Me: {whispers to Carl] Did you just see that guy smile at me lasciviously? Carl: [in a booming voice] Who? That guy over there? Chicken Nug? Me: Keep it down there. What? Carl: Chicken Nug – that’s what he looks like....