I can see the past. I can see the future, but I can’t see what’s right in front of me.

So Carl had to get new glasses last weekend. One new pair and new lenses in his old pair and holy shit glasses are expensive. No wonder my dad was always doing eye exercises (eyeball sit-ups anyone?) and wearing these stupid pinhole glasses he swore improved his sight. It didn’t, by the way. Now my dad wears these reading glasses and holds the newspaper about 12 feet away from him to see.

I digress.

Carl: Babe – what do you think of these frames?

Me: What?

Carl: Come over here, will ya?

Me: Hold on.

Carl: So these. What about these frames? Are they okay?

Me: Wait. I’ll be there in a minute.

Carl: What are you doing over there? Why are you guys all laughing? The fuck?

Me: Don’t get your panties in a bunch, Kennedy. You look pretty, too. Just like the toddler.

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