I’d take credit for getting rid of beef from my diet (and maybe yours). Forever.

I dreamt that I was being strangled, that someone was hitting me in the face and strangling me and I couldn’t breathe. Panicked, I tried to scream, but no sound came from my throat, only a faint gurgle emerged and I started to cry.

I woke up in a sweat, confused where I was. It took me a few minutes to figure out that I was only in my bed and that I had a terrible dream. Also, the toddler’s foot was on my mouth, kicking me every few minutes.

It’s time she and I talk about her moving out.

THIS WEEK I LEARNED THERE’S A REASON WHY KIDS HAVE THEIR OWN ROOMS AND:

  • where’s the closest nudist colony to me? I hope it’s within walking distance.
  • Carl is pretty in glasses. So pretty.
  • one day, my website might explode because I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing
  • the weather told me ‘fuck you’ and I was clueless as usual
  • next time, I’m leaving the 9-year-old at home

THE INTERWEBS IS AN INFINITE AND MYSTERIOUS PLACE:

  • stop eating beef! I’m trying (more on this later in the week) and now there’s this mega beef recall because this company in California processed diseased and unhealthy animals. The fuck?
  • are these the best graphic movies posters of all time?
  • Brain Pickings highlighted Edgar Allen Poe and his poetic principle and the 11-year-old nearly passed-out and held a vigil.
  • haters on the interwebs – just go home and shut the fuck up

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