Look out, Evel Knievel!

This is what the toddler likes to wear when she rides her rocking horse.

She just tried to take said rocking horse over Tank, who was not happy about this circus sideshow. You can see him pouting in the background.

When I told the toddler that you can’t do that to the dogs! She said, No! Me do. Me fly!

Carl: I thought you hated apple juice.

Me: It’s not juice. It’s bourbon.

Carl: Uh…

Me: Don’t ask. Just let me drink in peace and think about all the shit we have to go through when this one has a driver’s license. What are you doing?

Carl: Pouring myself a drink, too. I can’t let you stress out alone.

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