Dryer repair guy (DRG): You had a very nice voice on the phone.
DRG: I like how you talk on the phone.
Me: How would you know (edging closer to the kitchen in case I need a weapon of some sort. What can I do with a sippy cup?)?
DRG: I just spoke with you a minute ago (puts down tools on the dryer and leans against the wall casually).
Me: No you didn’t.
DRG: Yes, I did. It’s very nice. Very welcoming.
Me: Carl!!!! Carl!! I’m telling you – I did not talk to you on the phone.
DRG: Sure you did. I told you I was on my way. You said ‘okay’ with a breathy Demi Moore voice and coughed. I asked if you were okay and you said you were just having one of your coughing spells.
Mother-in-law: Carl already left for work. What’s wrong?
DRG: Who’s this (looks at mother-in-law suspiciously)? Your roommate?
Me: DRG? Meet Demi Moore.