Me: Why the hell does this towel smell weird and why am I covered in all this hair?
Carl: Why are you using that towel, stunad?
Me: Because it was the closest one to the shower. What’s wrong with it?
Carl: I just gave Tank a bath and dried him off with it – you couldn’t see that?
Me: The fuck, Martha Stewart! Apparently not! I just wrapped my hair in this fucking towel.
Carl: That’s what you get.
Carl: Because your senses suck.
Me: Why the fuck are you using our nice towels on the dogs?
Carl: I didn’t know we had nice towels.
Me: They’re the towels with no bleach stains! Fuck. Now I have to take another goddamn shower.
Carl: Calm down there. Your hair actually smells nice.
Me: Really? What dog shampoo is Tank using?