The reason Carl and I have been married for this long is because we have deep, meaningful conversations

Me: Why the hell does this towel smell weird and why am I covered in all this hair?

Carl: Why are you using that towel, stunad?

Me: Because it was the closest one to the shower. What’s wrong with it?

Carl: I just gave Tank a bath and dried him off with it – you couldn’t see that?

Me: The fuck, Martha Stewart! Apparently not! I just wrapped my hair in this fucking towel.

Carl: That’s what you get.

Me: What?

Carl: Because your senses suck.

Me: Why the fuck are you using our nice towels on the dogs?

Carl: I didn’t know we had nice towels.

Me: They’re the towels with no bleach stains! Fuck. Now I have to take another goddamn shower.

Carl: Calm down there. Your hair actually smells nice.

Me: Really? What dog shampoo is Tank using?

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