Why do I wait until the last minute to do the 9-year-old’s cereal box book report? It’s so stressful being back in the third grade. I can’t handle this stress.
I could’ve had this shit done weeks ago instead of wasting my weekend. The 9-year-old got away with doing the easiest part by answering the questions he needed to answer for his book report and then coming up with a one minute commercial for his cereal.
The 9-year-old gave me a pat on the back and said, “This may be your best work to date, Mom.” Carl was all, “Oh that was sweet.” Honestly? I think I’d rather get paid.