This is how you do weekdays right

The kids started school last week and I’m the one who got sick. How the hell did this happen? The kids are totally fine. The kids who are around germ-infested other little kids are completely fine. I knew I should’ve used my forcefield when that little kid sneezed on me at the school office. That kid is evil.

On top of being sick, my workload seems to have tripled and I am running ragged, I tell you! RAGGED!

So I need an early weekday cure for stress or else I’ll crack.

I must catch-up on my reading. I’ve had The Bloggess’s book since it first came out and I’m still only on page 100 because I get interrupted, constantly. The kids are the worst offenders. Stop bothering me, will you?

Anyway, tales of dead animals are strangely funny and soothing.

Alcohol doesn’t solve problems, but lemon drop martinis always taste good so I’m going with that. Also, I can use it as an excuse to watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians, yell obscenities and throw stuff at the T.V. Does this make me a senior citizen?

Laundry and me – we don’t get along.

You may think that pile looks small, but there is so much more behind the door and there’s a load in the washer that’s been there for two days.

Our laundry is an entity that I cannot control. It’s this pile that starts small on Monday and by Wednesday, it’s grown tentacles and tries to drown me. It is malevolent in nature. So today, I’m closing the door to the laundry room because if I don’t see it, it doesn’t exist.

Instead of something boring like a salad or broiled fish, I’m eating cupcakes for lunch AND dinner and not just any cupcake, these cupcakes, these luscious and tantalizing white cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. Because food high in carbs and refined sugar is good for your body and soul. I read it somewhere so it must be true.

And if none if this works and I do crack – it’s not gonna be pretty. Lock your doors, donut shops and pizza places. Lock your damn doors.

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